Finding My Way : Monsters in-law?

I am pretty sure many girls would understand how I feel when I tell them that my boyfriend's mother hate me. The usual occurances would be :

1. Ignoring your existance
2. Saying how rude you are
3. Picking your every flaws
4. Only being nice whenever other people are around

Aren't all these signs of the boyfriend's mother being rather unruly towards us, the girlfriends? We try to be nice and all modest to her but then she can never put past in her mind that her little baby boy's now all grown up.

Are all mothers like that? Being all protective and insecure? Was it due to she herself knowing what women are capeable of and is trying to protect her son from us younger generations? Or is it because she wants someone excactly like her to be her future daughter-in-law? I guess the mentality they have would be that the younger generation are never as good and can never replace people like them. Or was it because they feel once their son is gone, they can never see them again? Or is it because they are no longer the only women in their son's life?

This issue is being brought up because it happens in every family no matter where we are. The moral of the story would be to never only have one child, be it a boy or girl because they are to feel the pressure of what their spouses are going through.

Finding My Way : A New Life?

People are always looking for loopholes in their daily boring routine so that they are able to take that one step to change their lives. For instance, buying 4-digit numbers in high hopes that their number might actually win first prize so they can have tonnes of cash and live happily with their easily earned cash.

For me, well, it all happened one fine day when I had a sudden urge to buy newspapers. As everyone who knows me well enough, I do not read.. and the urge to buy the Saturday Star was startling enough for me. It was strange. I just flipped and flipped as though I was searching for something. I didn't know what I was looking for but I knew I was looking for something. Then, just when my hand stopped flipping the pages, I saw it. Right at the bottom right corner of the page... A recruitment for Cabin Crew with Emirates.

Was it fate? It was too early to tell. Was I supposed to flip to that page? So, I went for the interview. Was not really that prepared for it but I did fill in all the requirements. Took a photo of me in full length and also passport sized, made a cover letter and updated my resume, took a copy of all my certificates...the works...only during the night before the interview.

The day came. I was so tired as I was working the night before. Went back home at 3+ in the morning. I was so exhausted that I nearly gave up on going to the interview. Then, as I lay there facing the ceiling I thought to myself, should I go? Part of me said, "Nah, you're wasting your time. You need more sleep." The other part of me said, "What the heck do you think you're doing?! You didn't just stumble on the ad for no reason, you know?" So I got up and prepared myself for it.

The experience was unimagineable. Surrounded by mostly other experienced cabin crews from other airlines, I was scared out of my gutts. My confidence was nowhere to be found. There were about more than 100 eager and confident faces. Mine wasn't one of them. I felt so ugly among all of them. It was so tempting for me to just walk out of the hotel and pretended I never saw anything and be on my way home. Just when I had gathered my courage to do that, the lady in the front desk started going through everyone's photos, seeing if the photos are suitable for the application form. Being late, I was the last in line. The front desk looked so small from where I was standing. The lady worked her way from the front of the line, chasing the ones with inappropriate photos off to the instant-photo man outside. My photo was ok, surprisingly as it was not professionally done. So being the last in line, I was then first. Was it coincidence?

The first round was a group of 10 sitting in a circle, discussing about the issue of being a fresh graduate in a new company and the challanges they have to face. Everyone was promoting themselves to the recruitment officer. "Oh, I was a cabin crew with this airline and the people there are so unkind","Oh, I am a cabin crew with so-and-so airline and the seniors are always bullying me". I was stumped. The rest of the girls were dominating the discussion. What was I supposed to do? Oh well, I had to be rash. I had to participate and be a team member... damn. So I 'discussed' and I wasn't siding anyone's issue but I was pretty diplomatic as I agreed to the point from the skinny girl and I agreed to the girl with the crooked teeth. After that session, and having the recruitment officer staring at each and everyone of us, we were asked to sit outside and wait for our results. I was pretty nervous but I didn't keep my hopes up so high as I didn't want to be too devastated if I didn't get it. After 15 horrible minutes of waiting in suspense, we got the letter of result. I was one of the 3 who got through. Two experienced cabin crews and me, a rookie. Another coincidence?

From 100+ applicants, the number was cut down to 62. The second round was almost similar to the first. A group of 10 in a circle. Second round-part 1 : Discuss among each other about the 3 people you have to save from a raft with 5 people who consist of a scientist at the brink of finding a cure for cancer, a reputable heart surgeon, a priest, a beauty queen and wife of politician and a professional violin kid. Who would you save and why. The first thing that came to my mind was to ditch the beauty queen and the kid. Call me heartless and cynical but that's the way life goes, we need more people who are able to contribute to humanity in the world, rather than some narcicistic bitch and nosy kid. But being 'diplomatic' me, I went for the Doctor, the Scientist and the Kid. Another 15 horrifying minutes of waiting for the letter of result. Again I was one of the 2 who got through. The other was a cabin crew and me, a rookie. Another coincidence?

From 62 applicants, now the number reduced to 22. Second round-part 2 : A group of 15 in a circle. Discuss what preparations are to be made for a party of 30 children; blind, deaf and dumb. The girl who was pissed at me about the whole 'ditching the beauty queen' incident was up and against my idea of bringing the kids to a safe and hygenic indoor children's playground. Her idea was to bring them to do 'Children's Yoga'.... we were all speechless about her idea. I must say...she is a dumb blond. We were all bickering and agreeing on where to bring the kids and what preparations are to be made and then...TIME'S UP!! Our 15 minustes of waiting was here. The letter came, and I was one of the 3 chosen. Another coincidence?

From 22 applicants, went down to 19 applicants. Second round-part 3 : English Test. Simple test which was for one half hour but I was done in 15 minutes. I didn't dare to go out as everyone looked real busy writing and all. The question for the essay was "If you had a chance to spend a day with someone famous, who would it be and why?" Honestly, my mind was blank. I wanted to write about someone inspirational, like our past prime minister, Dr. Mahatir but then I didn't remember his whole Y.B title thingy so I didn't want to risk that. Instead the only person that was swimming in my mind was Angelina Jolie because some girls were talking about how tick her lips were during our 15 minute waiting. DAMMIT!! shouldn't have listened to them bitching!! So I had no choice but to write about her. 15 minute waiting for the results and then I passed!! well, so did most of them.

From 19 applicants, the number was now 15. Time for the Second round-part 4 : Pycometrics test. We had to sit for this I.Q test thing and then they would know what kind of person we are. Well, this round was a no-fail round. We all got through and then qualified for the third round. The interview - one on one with the recruitment officer. Well, to cut the long story short, I got through the last interview. Was this another coincidence? I really didn't know.

Just about 10 minutes ago, I checked my email and I got through the application part. Now I have to go for a medical which determines whether I go to Dubai or not. Is this another test of coincidence? Throughout all the rounds, I was not expecting to get it due to not wanting to be devastated if I didn't get through but I did. So now, am I supposed to pass all rounds in the interview? Was I really meant for this job? Or was it merely a coincidence for me to fail at the very last minute so I can be SUPER-DEVASTATED about it?

Many tell me that things happen for a reason. Is this one of it? I really do not know. It's funny how just a simple thing such as a nich to buy papers one day would actually change a lot in your future. Wish me luck for the medical exams. Who knows, it might just be another coincidence.

Finding My Way : Professionalism

Life at work is constantly measured by the level of professionalism one is able to achieve at their work place. When one gets their personal matters in the way of work, is it as professional as it should be? Or are we simply just humans to let it happen?

For instance, in a recent occurance, I was told three weeks ago that I was to continue serving RTM right after my practical ends. I was unsure of the confirmation due to the verbal agreement and no paperwork was done to support it. I asked again three days before my practical ended. Not only did my superior got annoyed at me for asking again, he got pissed off at me (for whatever reasons I do not know). He told me once I finished my practical, I finish like everyone else. So I am left jobless with no salary for last month.

Things took a sudden turn around due to his inconsistency and also his so-called 'professionalism' at work. Was this a good example of professionalism? How do we know how professional is professional? In other words, what constitutes professionalism at a work place?

Finding My Way : Humans & Satisfaction

Humans will never be satisfied with whatever they have. This is one line that I would strongly agree to. It is bewildering to know that humans, well, homosapiens are usually never really satisfied with whatever they have. They always want more.

Ladies who are thin, crave to be fat by eating their hearts out.... they don't gain an inch on their waistline.
Ladies who are .... chubby on the other hand, happens to try all sorts of smilling remedies, exercises, diets, and even go to the extent of vomitting after meals or not even eating at all just to be as thin as the supermodels they worship on screen.

Another example of humans not being satisfied with themselves or what they have would be...hair. If one has naturally straight hair, they would perm it just so they'd be satisfied with their look.
If one has curly hair, they would spend hundreds just to make their hair as straight as uncooked mee hoon.

This goes out to prove that humans are never satisfied with what they have.

Why do these sort of mentality exist in humans? Do they not appreciate what they already have? Do we have to wait for a disaster to happen to make us realize that we in fact really do appreciate our lives and be satisfied with whatever we already have?

Finding My Way : Contradiction

This poem was written when i was in the midst of getting over the one true love in my life. In memories of my feelings with Wick, this was written for him.

Contradiction
============
sweet words whispered to my ear,
how great an impact they cause,
too much hurt and pain i fear,
is it worth the lot?

questions, plenty, i ask myself,
one or two a day,
wondering if you'll feel the same,
i'll ask you if i dare,

we've spent the last few months,
learning and loving each other,
i wished this would last forever,
but you choose to leave for another,

your heart belongs to another,
but yet it comes to me,
with all the tears and laughter,
why is it you can't see?

i adore you, i admire you,
reasons to why i hang on,
you make me happy, yes it's true,
it only lasts until you are gone,

why is the world so unfair,
as we cannot be together,
you tell me that you really care,
but do you really bother?

please don't leave me,
i don't want you to go,
can't you tell, can't you see?
that i honestly do love you so.

Finding My Way : Principles in Life

As was in the blog before, I wrote of two principles in my love life. As I have been through life for the past 22 years, I realised that I have been living my life based on the principles I have set for myself. Was it relevant to have such principles? Were we supposed to set such principles and yet ensure that we NOT break them?

Well, for me, I have to admit that I did break two of those principles set for myself in my life. I first broke my principle of NEVER GOING BACK TO THE SAME BF AFTER BREAKING UP when I was with my first love. The experience of bring so in love with the one guy was so fabulous. When we broke up, I swore I would never go back with him. Eventually, after time passed, I realised that my principle was a bit tough on the one guy I ever loved so much. My reasoning as to why I broke my own principle was that he was worth it. He was worth every heartache, every tear shed and every confusion stirred. I guess I reached a point in life now where my principles change to NOT GOING BACK TO THE SAME BF AFTER BREAKING UP UNLESS HE WAS WORTH IT.

As for my second principle, it was NEVER GO OUT WITH A GUY WHO IS IN THE SAME ORGANIZATION/INSTITUTION AS YOU. Well, this principle still remains the same and unchangeable. I have stood by this principle all my life but recently I broke it. I must have had cow dung for breakfast to have broke this principle. Going out with someone not only a collegue but also a superior in the place I work in was not a great idea.

My reasoning as to why this happened was that at that point of time, I was lost in my life. I didn't know where I was going. Now I am finding my way back.