Finding My Way : Self-distraction

My biggest step to try to move on would be moving out from my apartment in Dubai in which I had roomates from Malaysia. Everyone would think, lucky me for having placed with people from my own home-country. It's not what they think. Things weren't going as well as I hoped for it to be as, they were not really the kind of people that are like me, you know, crazy out going people who live life to the fullest.

Anyways, they were nice people, the kinds who are like, you live your life, I live mine, so stay out of it kinda people. The place had a massive kitchen, and HUGE living hall, fully equipped with all the furnitures a house needs, along with three bedrooms and four baths. As I was the most junior in the house, I was given the bathroom with no bathtub, and a leaking tap as a bonus. Days passed and soon enough, months. I didn't see them much as they were either flying or hanging out with their boyfriend.

On my first day I shifted in, I was given the tour and briefing on the house rules. Every house has to have a house rule, fair enough. So, the first thing she told me was,"If you feel like moving out with your friend, do inform us as soon as possible so we are able to epect it". Man, I just moved in and you're telling me about moving out? Ok, I shrugged the shocked look off my face. Then when we reached the living hall, she told me,"The dvd player is mine and the tv is shared between me and the other girl so feel free to use it but when we are home, just let us use it, ok?" Ok, I may have used to be working in a broadcasting station before but I'm NOT that much of a tv freak. I was under the impression she was telling me to back off from her tv. Eventually after a couple of months of observation, I realised she was indirectly telling me to BACK OFF! She was a tv chinese-kung-fu-sword-slashing-series maniac!

Everyday I was in my room spending most of my days off and free time on the Internet. I diverted most of my concentration towards buying gadgets like Gameboy Advance SP, lcd monitor/tv screen 26", brand new CPU with extra hard disk space and wireless card connection, brand new digital camera, brand new handphone, dvd player, PlayStation 2 and a minibar fridge. All these were in my room and it was more of me renting a room rather than sharing an apartment with them.

After seven months and several attempts along with countless crying nights, I have finally decided that I should move and have a healthier lifestyle. I shifted in to a smaller apartment but with a healthy roomate relationship. I am currently in one of Dubai's famous landmarks and am on the 48th floor. This building is 52 floors, by the way. It's a three-bedroom apartment which is occupied by a Tunisian-French and an Egyptian. Now, my tv, dvd player, ps2 and computer is in the living hall and i spend more time in the living hall as compared to my room. For once I felt so free.

I hung out with them more than anyone I used to when I was living in the old place. I met the neighbours, they would come over to hang out and they are very nice guys. Many party nights with my roomate and crazy sleepless nights before a flight. It is a tiring life but I guess I traded a quiet lonely one for this, crazy havoc and chaotic lifestyle.

I do still think about the heartache from time to time when I am alone at home but then I try to divert my concentration to some other things like clubbing and drinking. I try to do the things that I would advise friends to do after a heartbreaking inccident but somehow I feel as though my heart has to be made out of stone to be able to forget about it. I guess this is part of life's lessons, to be able to see how far we are able to pull through and how much heartache we are able to put up with.