Finding My Way : Regret Or Denial?
I do apologise for those who have been fairly agitated at the fact that I have not been a loyal blogger. These days, blogging seems like a monthly ritual...somewhat like a menstrual periods for women.
These are for the ladies...
Have you ever had a boyfriend which has fulfilled your every relationship needs which you left? Well, I did. I left my 'Mr. Perfect' not so long ago. He was a guy which every mother would want as a son-in-law, he was the guy that you would want to spend your whole lifetime with and probably the next, if you do believe in reincarnation.
My 'Mr.Perfect' would come home to me every night when I was still struggling for a living in Kuala Lumpur. He would never cheat on me, or even put the silly idea into my head, eventhough I know that there are some horny bitches out there ready to pounce on him at any opportunity they get. Anyways, he would be there in times of need, for the good and for the bad, during laughter and in tears. He was always there. These were the qualities that was in him, and also not forgetting that I had to constantly pick up after him and at times, he'd help pick up after me.
Never in my 9 years of dating have I met a guy who has all these qualities. He was THE man for me. Heck, I'd dare to even say that my mum liked him, even though she only met him a couple of times. But, not every relationship islike a bed of roses. It was not his mistake, it was mine. I didn't know what possesed me and I left my 'Mr.Perfect'. My reasoning behind it was that I wanted 'fireworks and passion'. What kind of an excuse is that? I guess the thing was I was getting bored of the CONSISTENCY he was driving in the relationship. It was the same thing everyday, every weekend, every night, everytime. There were no longer sparks of passion and surprises and wake me up kisses, it was merely as dead as a decomposing corpse would be.
After shifting to Dubai, and leaving him, it seemed like I was supposed to be facing new adventures, new people, new life with all the glamour, one-night-stands (if I ever get lucky) and posh dinners. I'm afraid it was way beyond what I expected it to be. Instead of getting those all of the above, I was left alone and depressed with nobody to turn to and nobody to trust.
I was thinking the other day, will I ever be able to find somebody like my 'Mr.Perfect' again? Heck, since it's been four months since me and 'Mr.Perfect' have not been together I was filled with a lot or regret and sadness. If he were to propose to me anytime, I'd give up everything I worked for in Dubai just to be with him. I would move back just to be with him even it means giving up my dreams.
I don't know what would be scarier, to find out the fact that he's seeing someone new or to know that I've lost him forever. But there is one thing for sure that I know of, and it is that I will always, always love him no matter if fate doesn't put us together.
These are for the ladies...
Have you ever had a boyfriend which has fulfilled your every relationship needs which you left? Well, I did. I left my 'Mr. Perfect' not so long ago. He was a guy which every mother would want as a son-in-law, he was the guy that you would want to spend your whole lifetime with and probably the next, if you do believe in reincarnation.
My 'Mr.Perfect' would come home to me every night when I was still struggling for a living in Kuala Lumpur. He would never cheat on me, or even put the silly idea into my head, eventhough I know that there are some horny bitches out there ready to pounce on him at any opportunity they get. Anyways, he would be there in times of need, for the good and for the bad, during laughter and in tears. He was always there. These were the qualities that was in him, and also not forgetting that I had to constantly pick up after him and at times, he'd help pick up after me.
Never in my 9 years of dating have I met a guy who has all these qualities. He was THE man for me. Heck, I'd dare to even say that my mum liked him, even though she only met him a couple of times. But, not every relationship islike a bed of roses. It was not his mistake, it was mine. I didn't know what possesed me and I left my 'Mr.Perfect'. My reasoning behind it was that I wanted 'fireworks and passion'. What kind of an excuse is that? I guess the thing was I was getting bored of the CONSISTENCY he was driving in the relationship. It was the same thing everyday, every weekend, every night, everytime. There were no longer sparks of passion and surprises and wake me up kisses, it was merely as dead as a decomposing corpse would be.
After shifting to Dubai, and leaving him, it seemed like I was supposed to be facing new adventures, new people, new life with all the glamour, one-night-stands (if I ever get lucky) and posh dinners. I'm afraid it was way beyond what I expected it to be. Instead of getting those all of the above, I was left alone and depressed with nobody to turn to and nobody to trust.
I was thinking the other day, will I ever be able to find somebody like my 'Mr.Perfect' again? Heck, since it's been four months since me and 'Mr.Perfect' have not been together I was filled with a lot or regret and sadness. If he were to propose to me anytime, I'd give up everything I worked for in Dubai just to be with him. I would move back just to be with him even it means giving up my dreams.
I don't know what would be scarier, to find out the fact that he's seeing someone new or to know that I've lost him forever. But there is one thing for sure that I know of, and it is that I will always, always love him no matter if fate doesn't put us together.
posted by Wildfire Princess at
8:35 PM
1 Comments:
The fact that there was no fireworks and passion, and the fact that it was not a bed of roses, the fact that you are living your dream means that "he" was not the right guy for you.
That's the strange thing about life, you never know how it will work out, but work hard to achieve your dream, so when life gives you a second chance you will be prepared for it.
And also know that "he" will always be a part of your life, only maybe in a different role, but I don't think you can ever get rid of "him" even if you wanted to.
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